Kacey Rose

This little 3 year old girl and her family REALLY need your prayers right now. Kacey is probably in her final stages of leukemia. Hospice has been called and they are trying to keep her out of pain. Here is a post from her daddy. WARNING....it is gut wrenching to read. I can't imagine what this family is going thru. Hug your babies tighter today. Kiss a little more today. And say a prayer for this mom and dad who must be experiencing the worst pain ever.

let me fill you in....We left Yale yesterday afternoon. We are attempting to keep Kacey comfortable at home. We were met by the VNA and Hospice and have some sort of plan which we will modify as needed.Kacey gave up eating and drinking 5 days ago and is currently receiving IV nutrition (TPN) for 12 hours a day. She continues with 103 degree fevers every 4 hours or so and has a bad cough. The cough caused her to vomit many times last night all over herself and bedding. Needless to say, last night was rough and I have been up for 26 of the last 27 hours, so far. BUT we would not even complain if it meant that our little monkey was going to be alright.I will be taking some time off with the intentions of taking Kacey on a few day trips to the aquarium, butterfly garden, zoo, etc. I hope she is stable enough to enjoy these trips.Saturday morning was absolutely beautiful outside, sunny and in the 70's - the first real spring day. As everyone was enjoying the weather my wife was doing something no parent should ever have to do - she went to pick out cemetery plots. We purchased 4 so we will all be together. She picked out a wonderful spot where you can see our house and backyard from and in turn, we will be able to see from our backyard and bedroom window. In some way, we believe it will comfort us to know that she is close and watching over us.Needless to say, we should have gone together but one of us had to stay with Kacey at the hospital.Again and please - be VERY grateful for what you have and do not complain about what you don't. Know that you are blessed and that you did not spend this past Saturday selecting a cemetery plot for you child.Kris and Kacey are still sleeping, hopefully she will feel up to a small road trip today - we will let you know how it goes.

Beckham's new trick...

Beckham has been going up Grandma and Grandpa's stairs for a while now, but recently he's learned how to go back down them.


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Lately whenever I say we are going somewhere, he tries to grab my purse or his diaper bag. I guess he's figured out whenever we leave, I grab some sort of thing to throw over my shoulder. So Josh bought him his very own backpack the other day. He wheeled it around everywhere he went. He wants to hold it in the car. It's really funny when I look in the rearview mirror and all I can see is his little face with this big backpack covering up the rest of him.


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On a slightly crazier note, our house was kinda struck by lightning last night...we think. There was a big POP, and all the power went out. Josh was on the computer and got a wave of electricity sent up his hand and arm. Everything else was ok, except it fried our master bedroom outlets, and we can't get the circuit breaker to flip on. CRAZY!!! Any electricians out there in blog world know how to fix that??

Going home....

Please lift the Powell family up in prayer today. They are having Ethan's "going home celebration" (as they call it) today. And if it is on your heart, where blue today in honor of Ethan.

Invite a Friend!

Tonight we went to LITTLE GYM with Beckham's babysitter, Mandy, and her little girl, Carly. Beckham had a BLAST!!! He LOVED it! He loved the music, the climbing, being around other kids....you name it, he loved it! Here are a few pics to show off the great time we had!!

Clapping and dancing to the music

More clapping

WOW!! Where should I go next?

BUBBLES!!!!

Sorry...

I have struggled whether or not to post today. Being so many of my posts have been sad lately, I didn't want to be a big bummer again. But my heart is just too heavy not to get some feelings down. SO here's your chance to exit out of here and just skip this post all together.

Saturday I came home from Maggie's birthday party to read that Ethan Powell had passed away. I had been reading for several days about his declining situation, so in my brain, I was not shocked by the news, but in my spirit, I truly believed that the LORD would honor the amazing faith of Ethan's parents, Ben and Becky, and grant them the miracle they so faithfully prayed for for so many months. And He didn't. At least not here in the flesh on this earth. Again, in some way I can rationalize the precious blessing that Ethan is whole and in Heaven with the Creator and that is ultimately where we all long to be...someday. But I still don't get, and probably never will, why He allows things like cancer in a 2 months old baby to happen in the first place!

Ethan's story caught me immediately the day I heard about him, and for months I have read daily about his progress and setbacks. I guess it touched me so much because Ethan and Beckham are only 24 days apart in age. I would read about this courageous family and be in awe of their faith. I was amazed at how the word spread like wildfire about Ethan and couldn't wrap my brain around how many prayers were being sent to the Father for him. Bone marrow drives were set up in honor of Ethan all over, in hopes that there would be a match for him. There was never a match for Ethan, but I think about how many lives may be saved because of Ethan in the future because there are so many new donors. The faith the Powells displayed thru such a horrible situation, I believe, could be compared to Job. Never, not once, did they show a wavering in their faith. And even since Ethan has passed, they have given glory to the LORD and His sovereignty. I am not sure I could have been as strong and unwavering as they have been.

I guess we all have those times and things in our lives that just hit us, and for whatever reason, change us a little. Ethan has done that for me. I am now a bone marrow donor. I pray that I get a phone call some day and I am able to donate. I will proudly say that's it's because of a little boy named Ethan. I see my son differently today than I did 3 days ago. Those times when I would tend to get frustrated, I remember that Ben and Becky won't experience that today, or ever. When I am selfish and tired and don't feel like doing the simplest of things like giving Beckham a bath because I am too lazy, I remember that Ben and Becky would give anything to give Ethan a bath tonight. Confession time...I love my son, more than anything, I love my son. But lately I have allowed myself to be selfish, lazy and put myself ahead of him at times. Now of course he's fed and bathed and all the basics, but I don't always WANT to do some of those things. I don't want to read him another book. I don't want to watch "MickeyMouse Clubhouse", I...I...I.... Well, no more. I will treasure everyday and every moment. It will no longer be about me, but about that precious, wonderful, sweet, rambunctious, little red-head that God has entrusted to me.

In the post on Ethan's website tonight, Ben says that Ethan lived up to his name: Ethan Isaiah
Ethan=mighty warrior/Isaiah=messenger of GOD. I couldn't agree more. Please continue to pray for the Powell family. On the website, if you feel led, there is fund established at their home church in Louisiana. I can't even begin to imagine picking up life at home after 14 months of being away, but I am sure there are some financial obstacles that may arise. And the Powells are also asking for continued prayers for Ethan's friends still at St. Jude. Ben always closes his posts: BeLIeVe...PRAYER WORKS!! The little "e's" are in honor of Ethan.

(Thank you if you are still reading this, for allowing me to vent!)

Bumper Sticker

Ok, I know my posts lately have been a little bit "Debbie Downer-esque." But yesterday I saw a bumper sticker that made me laugh out loud. It was a white sticker with the pink breast-cancer awareness ribbon on it and it said "Save the Ta Ta's." Ok, I have no idea if it is a real awareness sticker, and hopefully I haven't offended anyone by posting it, but I thought it was really funny!

Ethan Powell

Several months ago I posted about a courageous little boy and his family and their fight againt leukemia. Ethan was diagnosed at his 2 month check-up with leukemia, and has gone home to be with Jesus this morning. He was 16 months old today. You can click in his blog on the right. PLEASE lift this family up in your prayers.

The Farley Family

If you haven't been following the Farley family, ck out this video. I love reading Boothe's blog, even though I have never met her. She is SO transparent in her emotions. Raw emotion that we all feel, but too ashamed to admit, or perhaps not as eloquent to express it. I encourage you to read her blog from the beginning. You will become part of an amazing journey that God has this family on, and you will be touched in ways you can't imagine.



You can read their blog here.

Did you see Oprah??

Yes, I record Oprah everyday. I watch it strictly for entertainment purposes, and if she has a topic, and many times she does, that I feel is crossing some boundaries and contradicts any of my personal beliefs or my faith, I immediately erase that episode without watching it. All that being said, if you missed yesterdays episode, you should try to find it online somewhere, or wait for it to rerun in the summer.

Her guests for the day were 2 families whose daughters were in car accident together. Thru a number of strange circumstances, the girls identities were mixed up. 1 girl lived and 1 girl died. The family of the girl who really died ended up caring for a girl who wasn't their daughter for 5 weeks in the hospital before the mix up was cleared up. I know that sounds REALLY confusing. Ultimately the girl who survived the accident and her family were reunited and the family of the girl who died had to come to grips with the reality that their little girl was gone.

The great thing about the story is that both families are Christians, and because of their faith in the Lord, they are friends and have seen the glory of GOD in the whole thing. The families met on the 1 year anniversary of the accident and the mother of the girl who survived told the other family that she felt guilty because they got the "happy ending" and the father of the girl who died replied "so did we, we just haven't seen it all, yet." It is a WONDERFUL story of faith and mercy. The best part of the show was when Oprah asked the father of the girl who survived why he thought they have been able to make it thru and he TOTALLY preached the gospel of Jesus on Oprah's stage!!! He said that because of the forgiveness that we have been given thru Christ on the cross, they have been able to forgive and heal. It was so great!! I love it when God chooses to use such a secular forum to have the Truth spoken. When Oprah asked the father of the girl who died why they didn't file a lawsuit, here was his reply:
Don says his family was not interested in filing a lawsuit then or now. "I just didn't see what that would gain for us. Over the years, I've learned that forgiveness and love is healthier than bitterness and vengeance," he says. "One of my favorite verses in the Bible says, 'What has the Lord required of you? To act justly. To love mercy. And to walk humbly with your God.' That one phrase—'to love mercy'—you don't see a lot of that today." ( from Oprah.com)

So if you have a chance to catch the show, do. If you are totally, 100% against anything that Oprah Winfrey says or does, then the families have written a book together about their story called "Mistaken Identity." It really is a bittersweet story, but I think worth reading.

My new favorite...

My favorite new discovery is the Zip Loc Zip n Steam Bags. Have ya'll used these yet? They are awesome!! Anyone who knows me knows that I do not like to cook. And since I try to feed Beckham a little more healthy that what Josh and I eat, these little bags have come in handy. I made my own baby food for a while and it was really easy and much less expensive than buying jarred food. But I was using a steaming basket, which technically still counts as cooking to me. I didn't mind doing it that way, but I wish I had discovered the steam bags sooner. Now I chop up all of Beckham's veggies for the week and put them in baggies and store them in the fridge. Then when it's meal time, I just take out the amount I need, throw them in a steam bag
and microwave them according to the cooking time on the bag. SO EASY!!! I have even started taking the raw veggies to the babysitter along with a steamer bag for Beckham's lunch. It's just as easy as packing anything else. The food tastes so yummy too. Beckham loves his carrots, squash, zucchini, and broccoli. And by steaming them, it leaves most of the nutrients in the food to. They even have recipes to create entire meals in the steam bags. I haven't tried any yet, but I plan to. The only down side is the are a little pricey. But I have started to use 1 bag per day. That way I don't feel like I am wasting them. So, if you hate to cook as much as I do, or just don't have a lot of time to cook, try these bags. They are GREAT!!!

If I were on American Idol...

First of all, the only way I would make it on American Idol is on the reject shows with William Houng and all the other delusional people who think they can sing, but I was inspired by Britney to google the songs from the year I was born and I discovered that 1974 was a REALLY good year for music. I also discovered that many of them are now on the games "Rock Band" and "Guitar Hero." I am not sure if that's such a good thing or not. It makes me feel really old.

Anyway, here are a few of my favs from 1974...

Cat's in the Cradle-Harry Chapin
Sweet Home Alabama-Lynard Skynard WHAT A CLASSIC!!
Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe-Barry White
Piano Man-Billy Joel ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVS!!
The Joker-Steve Miller Band
Bennie and the Jets-Elton John

I love all of the songs!! Who knew 1974 was such great year for music??

"Gone and More!"

Beckham has started saying "gone" when he is finished with something. Like when he takes a bite he says "gone!" It's too cute! And his babysitter, Mandy, has been working with him on signing "more", the 14th month old version, anyway. She called on Friday so excited "I forgot to tell you that Beckham signed 'more' !" It's pretty funny, it TOTALLY caught me by surprise the first time he did it! So I got it on video today and thought I would share. Enjoy!!


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Easter Fun Weekend!

Well, it was a FUN weekend! Josh took Friday off so we were able to spend the whole day as a family together. Josh worked on the yard in the morning, then we went to the park for a little while. The evening was spent watching I AM LEGEND and a lot of NCAA basketball. (By the way, I am dead last in my bracket with Josh's family. Go Ang!)

Saturday we went to my Mom's house where we ate too much and hunted alot of eggs with all of Beckham's cousins. They all had a great time. Beckham grasped the concept really quickly of hunting and putting everything in his bag. (I made all the kids bags because the Easter Bunny had not brought them their baskets yet. ) Then we went home just long enough for Beckham to get a little nap, change clothes and we were off to church. After church we attempted to have a nice dinner with Kelli and Joe Dan, but Beckham had reached his limit for the day. He was no longer going to sit still in a high chair and be his normal, well-behaved self. (Sorry Galyeans!) So we left quickly and he was asleep in the car in about 2 minutes! Figures.

Then Sunday we cleaned house getting ready for Josh's family to have lunch with us. Josh made a great batch of fajitas! Grandma and Grandpa Faris brought lots of fun Easter goodies, too! It was a fun weekend. I was not ready for Monday morning to arrive! Hope everyone has a great week!

Just a few photos!

I was able to get a few pics of Beckham this weekend, and when I say a few, I mean a few. He's WAY too fast for me these days to catch him sitting still, so I just basically chase him around hoping he looks up occasionally. But I love the candid shots too. I think they capture his personality. Just wanted to show off my boy! Enjoy!

That Crazy Texas Weather!

These pictures were taken on March 6th.

These were taken on March 12th!

So crazy!! I am loving the warmer weather. And as you can see, Beckham is too. He loves to get outside and "play ball" with Buddy. Basically he just carries the ball around and never gives it to Buddy, but it sure is fun...for Beckham, not so much for Buddy. Wehave also been to the park a couple of time. He LOVES the swings and the slide. I thought he might be little scared of going down the slide at first, but no, he's a dare devil and loves it! I am hoping to get some "real" pictures this weekend since it's suppose to be nice weather. I'll post more later.

Also, I had my follow-up appt with the Dr. this morning. She confirmed that all was normal with the results from the surgery. Praise the Lord!! We are still waiting on the genetic testing we had done, but so far all good news. She did say we could some other testing to see if there is medical reason for me having "recurrent miscarriages." I am not sure if we will do that or not. She did suggest some things that I will be starting right away, and hopefully they will help. I am just praying that this chapter of my life is over and done, and when we are able to start trying again, that everything goes well. Thank you again to all of you who have prayed for us, who have called and checked on us, who have left sweet and encouraging comments, it is such a blessing to us!

It's a sad day.

Since the miscarriage and surgery, I have judged my days by "happy days" and "sad days." Thankfully, most have been happy days. I have a amazing husband and the cutest son, wonderful family and friends and lots of things to keep my mind busy. SO overall, it hasn't been as terrible as I thought it might be. But today is a sad day. I woke up sad, I am sad now, and chances are I will lay my head down tonight sad. I keep trying to rationalize my feelings by telling myself it could be so much worse. My family is healthy, we have a home, and "things" so many others don't have. I tell myself that it would be so much harder if I lost the pregnancy later after I had seen the heartbeat, and really had a big tummy. But I still feel the loss. I miss morning sickness! I miss the feeling of being pregnant. I miss never knowing what my baby will look like this side of Heaven. When I went in for my surgery, I had this wonderful nurse, Nancy, and she shared with me the her own experience with a miscarriage. She told me that her Dr. told her that GOD has a special place for babies like mine, and in Heaven they are whole and healthy. I believe that! I know that when that blessed day comes, I will see my precious one and we will know each other as mother and child. I cling to that, whether anyone else chooses to believe that or not.

I pray that soon enough I will be able to "feel" those feelings again. We tried for almost a year for Beckham, and my heart literally ached for a child. I am not sure everyone can grasp that, but it was literally a physical desire to have a child. Well, since Beckham was born, that ache had gone away. Until this miscarriage. The ache is back. The desire is so visceral, it's hard to explain. But I am trying to trust in the Lord.

I go in Friday for my post-op appt and we are suppose to get the final results from the pathologist at that time. I praying everything of ok. The preliminary reports looked ok, but I am still nervous that she's gonna spring something on me. I will post when I know more. (Sorry to be such a downer. )

MORE FUN PICS...

He loves his Mickey Mouse

Look!! It's my first snow ball!!

Even Buddy LOVED the snow!

MMM, yummy snow!!

Joy, Sadness, Joy...

JOY!!!
This is my JOY!! Is he the cutest thing you have ever seen or what?? It snowed today and actually stayed around long enough for Josh to get a few pics of Beckham playing in the what could possibly the only snow he sees at his own house ever! He had fun. He is sick right now, so Josh stayed home and played Mr. Mom today. (Thanks, Josh!) I just love his little face! It brings a smile to face and to my heart every time I see him. I never could have imagined that being a mommy could be SO fulfilling, but everyday gets better. I love to see him play with toys and learn new things. I love to have him sit in my lap and let me sing songs to him. I love to hear him breathe on the monitor at night. I just LOVE him!! JOY....

SADNESS...
Since my last post, we have had some not so fun things going on. Most of the 4 people who actually read this blog know, but in case there's a new reader, here's the story. In December Josh and I found out that we were pregnant. Very surprised and very excited, we went to the Dr. at 6 weeks for our first visit and sonogram. We could tell very quickly something was not right on the sono. There was no baby where a baby should have been, only an empty space. The miscarriage followed shortly. It was hard, but the Lord provided good distraction with Christmas and Beckham's first birthday. Well, about 5 weeks later, SURPRISE, we find out we are pregnant again. Excited, but very nervous, I began going in for blood work immediately. The 2nd round of blood work looked a little suspicious, so they put me on some medicine and moved up my sonogram appt. Again we could tell something wasn't right. Where a little flicker of a heartbeat should have been, nothing. It also looked "abnormal." So last Tuesday I had a surgery to "take care of" the pregnancy. This time, my heart was truly broken. No distractions, no baby, just gone. Even though I had justified in my mind that there was no life inside my tummy, my body still felt pregnant until the surgery. Everyday I woke up with morning sickness, everyday I felt the fatigue of the first trimester. Everyday I was reminded that there should be a baby where there wasn't one, and then...gone. I don't think I have felt such deep sorrow in my life. And then to add to that, the Dr. said there was a chance that it could be a MOLAR PREGNANCY. (you can Google if you really want to know) Ultimately what that would mean is waiting 6 months to a year to try to get pregnant again. Well, as I told the LORD repeatedly, that is just not in my time frame. So for the last 2 weeks, it's been pretty depressing.

JOY...
Today I got the pathology results back from my surgery. The preliminary report says everything looks NORMAL!! Now I know that a miscarriage isn't "normal" but it wasn't a MOLAR PREGNANCY, and that is the main thing. I go back to the Dr. in a couple of weeks and I will know more about what that means for future pregnancies, but I am praying that this chapter is closed and I will never have to deal with another miscarriage again. Thanks to all of you who have been praying for us. You have prayed the words I have not been able to pray, and for that I am so grateful.

SAME OL' STORY, DIFFERENT BLOG...

Well, I guess it's the our turn to report sickness in our house. Beckham has had a cold all week and we have sucked snot out of his nose too many times to count. Oh, does he HATE it!!! But the great and precious thing about kids is they hold no grudges. Immediately afterwards he just wants a big mommy hug and for me to comfort him. Strange, huh? As adults we would never immediately embrace the person we felt was "hurting" us, whether it was for our own good or not.

And now Josh has some sort of junk. He went to the Dr. yesterday and they said it wasn't the flu. They said it was some sort of upper respiratory and ear infection. YUCK!! He's been sniffly and coughy and fevery. So I am praying I don't get it! I really can't afford to be sick. And I am also praying Beckham doesn't get the fever and other junk too.

On a more fun note...Beckham is SO much fun right now. He's learning animal noises. Amoung his favs are lion, parrot, elephant, cow and sleeping polar bear (from a book). I have a little video I will try to post later. It's REALLY cute!

Oh what a beautiful morning....

Ok, not so much. Last night me and some of the girls went to see "27 Dresses" (Cute flick, by the way), and decided it was too early to go home and we were having so much fun, we should go get a beverage of the adult variety at On the Border. We had a great time. I have really been craving some good girl talk, so it was great!

Well, this morning I get a phone call at 7:45am from my mother-n-law. She asked me if she had her days confused about keeping Beckham for me. I FORGOT I HAD TO WORK THIS MORNING!!!! Now, I don't usually work on Mondays, so it's not completely surprising, but still a pretty dumb thing to do.

I threw myself out of bed so fast, put Beckham in his crib, grabbed some scrubs that didn't match, brushed my teeth, grabbed some food for Beckham and my makeup bag, loaded Beck in the car, and headed out the door. I left my house at 7:54 and was at work at 8:25!! Praise the Lord it was a holiday, otherwise I may still be in traffic right now! We were able to reschedule my 8:00 patient to later on in the day, and thankfully she was SO understanding. This was the 3rd time I have had to reschedule her!

So there's my morning. I was actually nauseous after the adrenaline wore off and I was able to settle down. Ever done anything this stupid before??